I have seen many strange things in Florida, but the homeless people are
perhaps the strangest. They are the ones who would have frozen on the
streets of Detroit, huddled under some bridge with the sooty remnants
of a failed fire dusting a threadbare coat with ash; but here in
Florida, where the coldest nights demand little more than a good
sleeping bag and a little patience, there exists a curious strain of
homeless that strains the definition of human.
The first time I saw it, I was on a bus from Waters Avenue to
downtown. A waxen approximation of a black man eased on, each limb
moving individually, for that seemed all he could manage. He could not
even swipe his pass to gain admission; the bus driver had to take it
from him and run the card through herself. She gave the card back and
I was surprised that the man gripped it. He could have been any age
above fifty, but I would have pegged him in his late seventies. He had
no cane, instead moving one hand along with each foot to brace himself
until he half-settled and half-fell into a seat.
It was his mouth that gave it away. It opened and closed
repeatedly, as if something years ago had shocked him so badly that he
had never found words again. He stared blankly ahead without
recognition, never moving a muscle except for that flapping jaw and an
occasional spasm in his right hand causing his fingers to flutter. I
wondered: where is he going? Is there, within that body, the strength
of purpose to retain destination? Or does he wander aimlessly like a
wounded animal, gravitating instinctively toward warmth?
I color him pathetic, a meandering body that has not quite found a
good reason to die officially, but perhaps I misjudge. Perhaps the
spark still burned within that frame, and his was a desperate struggle
to keep mind and body cloven together; perhaps that rigid body was
locked in the same struggle as mine, his admission of pain far less
than my endless angst. Who knows what joys and horrors have passed before those glassy eyes as he fought for each
moment to come, fought so that time would not slow until in a frozen
frame he would pause, icy fear setting in, and then awaken just long
enough for vertigo to unhinge his knobby joints and send him crashing
to the sidewalk, gone forever.